I Don’t Want to Be Here!
by Jacob Hudgins
“I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account”(Phil 1:23-24).
How would we respond if our preacher declared “I don’t want to be here!”? If he stood before us or wrote to us, “I have something I’d rather be doing than working with you,” would our feelings be hurt? Would he be fired? Rebuked? Shunned?
Listen now to Paul: “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account”. What I really want is not to be here, working with you. It’s to be with Christ, which (no offense) is far better. As much as Paul loved his brethren and as deeply as he had concern for them, they were not his desire. His desire was to depart and be with Christ.
Christians should have this disposition. As much as we love our brethren and the work we do together, as deeply as we care about our families, as passionate as we are to save the lost, our real desire is not to be here! “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better”. Can we say it with a straight face?
If this is true of spiritual things, how much more true is it of the meaningless minutiae of physical life? Being with Christ means we will miss countless sports championships, elections, TV shows, and the final enjoyment of that nest egg we’ve been saving up. Can we still say Christ is “far better”?
Without complaining or discontentment, let’s say with Paul: “I don’t want to be here!”